Monday, December 1, 2008

Luke Gives Christmas the Royal Flush!

*My friends: Please take the time to read this gibberish the whole way through. I understand many of you have religious beliefs, which I respect. My points may start off as harsh - but there is a point to this rant and you will see I am not a heartless, ignorant, obnoxious or intolerant person. Luff yewww.*

Most of what follows has been taken from conversations with friends and work~mates~ on this day, Tuesday 2nd December 2008.


To help you get purchase on where I am coming from, we need to travel back in time to the year 2007. This time last year, Fletch (my fearless and infuriatingly thick leader) handed out a bunch of santa hats to everyone on the team. The intention was that all members of the team would put their santa hats on whenever she rang this little bell. Now, those of you that have met me are well aware I'm not a fucking dog. I do not perform tricks. I am not a fucking child, I do not require senseless 'activities' to make me squeal and giggle. At this point in time, I informed Fletch as such (in a diplomatic and professional matter), and tried to convey to her that I do not care for christmas outside of my family gatherings and I find such 'team' 'activities' insulting. My points were seemingly met with a degree of confusion.

Fast forward to one year later, and the twit has the nerve to pull the same trick, and question why I wasn't wearing my hat. Yes, I raised my voice a little. This was less than 24 hours after informing the executive assistant I do not wish to participate in 'secret santa" and won't be attending the christmas party.

Now the reason for my lack of participation follows:

Whilst I personally do not believe in jesus and feel nowadays that christmas is really a consumer trap posing as a religious holiday (seriously think about this - when your work puts up decorations, they put up santa hats and stockings for little gifts as opposed to crucifixes), I used to respect the love and giving nature behind the holiday. I respected the fact that it at the crux (here all week, folks) of the thing it was a religious holiday and everybody deserves to celebrate their own faith, beliefs and values in peace.

HOWEVER! I have found that all meaning and sincerity behind this tradition has gone. The season should be about sharing your love with your family and friends, and helping those in need. It shouldn't be about the incessant fake wishing of happy holidays, appeasing sensitive co-workers or acquiescing to the ignorant assumptions of our mindless society that everybody loves christmas and everyone should be best friends with everyone else.

Here's something for you, my co-workers. I GET PAID TO BE HERE. I don't want to be here. I don't want to spend my hard earned cash on you, when I'm struggling to think of what I should get for my darling little sisters. I spend 40 hours of my life each week with you, and barely get to see all of my friends and family throughout the year. Why would I want to go to some function and watch you all get drunk and obnoxious (more than you are already)?

Christmassy bullshit is being pushed on me, and anybody who knows me will understand I do not like these sheep-like expectations being rammed down my throat.

Please, leave me the fuck alone to give love, presents and time to those that truly matter: My friends and family.

Maybe if everyone followed my lead perhaps we would all find this time of year a lot more relaxing, like it was supposed to be. Christians, Catholics, celebrate your faith. Non-denominational and vaguely god-believing fans of christmas, celebrate the relationships you have with the people that you care for.

Leave the fake ceremony and insincere gestures behind, and count me out.

Much love, and happy holidays to my loved ones. PEACE OUT!


Anonymous said...

i'm being forced to go to mine...
I even had to sell my bronx ticket for the same night...


Thomas Rowe said...

valid points! they have the secret santa thing at my work too, what a gip

Irawan said...

giftmas is about getting hammered and eating meat.